


Two Lies And a Truth

by Salios, sofreakinmanyfandoms



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Andrew Garfield!Spidey, Fake?Relationship, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Mutual Pining, Ryan Reynolds!Deadpool, SPBB 2019, Semi-Healed!Wade, Stalker, TA!Peter, fake!relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 14:07:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22983682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Salios/pseuds/Salios, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sofreakinmanyfandoms/pseuds/sofreakinmanyfandoms
Summary: Having a thing for your teacher seemed like a reasonable fetish back in highschool.He realized fairly quickly as a TA, that it was super uncomfortable to be on the receiving end. Especially when you were being actively chased not by one, but two over-eager students with no concept of personal space.-----------------------------“Let’s be honest, Wade.” Hoo boy, there it was. “If you weren’t obviously kidding the whole time I’ve known you, I would have said yes immediately.”Wade’s grin slowly dropped from his face, leaving behind a very confused expression. His eyes flicked over Peter’s face and his mouth pursed into a frown. “What do you mean? When was I kidding?”
Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Comments: 10
Kudos: 216
Collections: Spideypool Big Bang - The 2019 Collection





	Two Lies And a Truth

**Author's Note:**

> Fantstic artwork provided by sofreakinmanyfandoms ( https://sofreakinmanyfandoms.tumblr.com/ )  
And created for the 2019/2020 SpideyPool Big Bang!

Having a thing for your teacher seemed like a reasonable fetish back in highschool. Personally, Peter hadn't ever found a teacher worth pining after, but then again he'd had the saltiest, most sour, dried out educator-jerky the world had ever produced. There had definitely been fresher fish to cast after.

So again, while he understood it was a respectable and somewhat common kink, it wasn't for Peter. He also realised, within three months as a TA, that it was super uncomfortable to be on the receiving end. Especially when you were being actively chased not by one, but two over eager students with no concept of personal space.

“Mr. Parker!”

Peter swore and shoved papers faster into his bag. The douche canoe that was his professor had already left him to the piranhas and they were closing in fast.

Two pairs of hands slammed down onto the desk in front of Peter and only years of dodging far worse kept his flinch in check. Shit. He was getting tired of being prey.

Swallowing the complaints he wanted to make, Peter looked up at the two students hemming him in. “Maryn...Aryn…”

Two high pitched giggles made Peter's eyebrow twitch.

“Oh! We're so glad you're using our names now! It sounds so _ impersonal _when you call us miss and mister.” Maryn winked and pushed her cleavage up. 

Peter looked away — right at Aryn doing the same, only with plump pectorals instead of breasts. Spluttering, he looked back to his bag. The last few sheafs were dumped in and the zip barely done up before he was swinging the bag over his shoulder. “Right, uh, you’re welcome but —“

“We have some questions about our final paper.” Maryn reached out and caught onto the tassel of one of Peter's many keychains; he’d taken to collecting them and the Avengers were always giving him new ones. “Maybe we could talk about it over dinner? Because we are _ so _ available. Like, no partners or anything to go home to.” 

Aryn waggled his perfectly shaped eyebrows at Peter. “We can stay _ all night long _ if you want,” he added with a wink.

Carefully using a chewed-up pen to pry Maryn’s fingers loose, Peter fumbled his phone from his pocket. “I uh, I really can’t.”

“But why not? You aren’t busy are you? You’re not taken or anything.” The latter wasn’t a question and Aryn sounded a little smug about it.

Peter's cheeks grew hot in embarrassment and he swallowed. His schedule didn’t leave much time for dating. Between being a TA, writing his Masters thesis on cross species mutation and symbiosis, and keeping a sort of long-distance relationship with his alter-ego, Peter barely even had time for his right hand. Somehow wedging another person into his already overpopulated life wasn’t possible. Not to mention the inevitable issue of introducing them to the superhuman aspect of his life. So yeah, he was woefully single, but he wasn’t desperate.

“I am, actually.”

“What? You can’t be _ that _ busy.” Maryn twirled a strand of hair around her finger, looking disappointed to lose her grip on the keychain. “You’re so good about making time for us.”

She meant ‘us’ as in the class who he was morally obligated to be a sounding-board to, but wished it meant her and Aryn specifically. They’d only managed to corner Peter a handful of times over the last year they’d been in his class and that had been more than enough time spent alone with them. Peter had learned his lesson and made it a point to have an exit strategy just in case.

“I am, but I meant I’m taken.” The words just fell out of his mouth. Actually, they rolled off his tongue, down his shrinking dignity, and over his shoes into the drain but yeah, they kind of just happened on their own. 

Maryn and Aryn had matching looks of shock on their faces. It was as if they hadn’t ever considered that Peter could, actually, be dating someone. If his heart wasn’t about to pound out of his chest rabbit-quick Peter would have laughed. The two shared a look, mouths moving without sound and eyebrows twitching in a complicated and silent language between them. They had nothing on Tony's brow-language but hey, they tried.

Aryn managed to get himself together first. He leant forward with a pleading expression on his face, only to be interrupted by the chorus to _ Mercenary _ by Panic! At The Disco.

** _In love, I've always been a mercenary, but I never leave my post when the cash runs out / I want to make you quiver / Make your backbone shiver / Hey kid, take the stage and deliver._ **

Peter’s eyes flicked down to his phone screen, already knowing who was calling and mentally adding a big I.O.U. to Wade’s running tab. He swiped the call to pick it up and on speaker. Normally he wouldn’t bother — most of his friends had superhuman hearing so it wasn’t necessary — but one more detail in the lie would help with authenticity.

“Hey babycakes! I was just thinking about you.” Peter thought he sounded pretty relaxed as he managed to spit the words out. Thankfully Wade knew him better, probably hearing the slight waver to his voice.

There was a barely-there pause before, “I’ve been thinking about you all day, _ darling _.”

He and Wade had one of the best bro-lationships he’d ever seen. Even his experience with Ned couldn’t compare. There was just something about the way that Wade knew him — both sides of him actually — and didn’t make it weird. He got that Peter needed his secret identity; understood that it wasn’t even to protect himself but to protect all the people he cared about. He always bragged about Peter’s large heart and his inability to turn away some in need. Especially himself. Wade couldn’t seem to avoid making self-deprecating comments, even after years of Peter giving him the same sad puppy dog eyes. And lectures. And that one time that Peter literally screamed at him about treating himself better until Peter’s voice had blown out and his eyes were streaming with tears.

Wade had looked as scared as Peter had ever seen him that day.

Wade got that Peter was lonely for all the friends he had. He himself only had a few people he could call allies at best. Blind Al was all kinds of tough love, gun and frying pan included. Domino was more laissez-faire about their connection and swanned in and out of Wade’s life. Cable was, in Peter’s honest opinion, a jackass who used Wade as a means to whatever end he had set as his goal that week.

Actually, aside from his relationship with Peter, Wade’s closest ‘friends’ were the X-men, and that was saying something. Peter had a feeling that Wade’s soliloquies about Colossus’ assets were far less joking than he was willing to say. The thought that Colossus would take Wade up on his flirting always left an uneasy twist in Peter’s stomach actually…

Peter much preferred when Wade’s attention was focused on him. The goofy, laughing merc was a hoot to spend time with. The way he would sway his hips and outline Peter’s waist to hip ratio, the way he would cup his hands when talking about Peter’s frame, the way his voice always dipped low whenever they were stuck in close proximity… That dark, intense stare he had when he went serious, stalking forward into Peter’s space, eyes unblinking and focused on Peter’s. That low, deep tone he took that promised visceral, dangerous things... 

“Oh?” Peter hummed, eyes blinking back into focus before flicking up to the students openingly staring from his face to his phone and back. “What in particular were you thinking about, mon chou?” He absently patted his pockets to make sure he had everything before beginning to shuffle around his desk and away from the Terror Twins.

“Do you have me on speaker?” Wade knew he did.

“Mhmm, my hands are full.”

There was a choking noise from Aryn and Maryn took a death grip on her partner-in-crime’s bicep.

“I’d tell you all about what I was thinking about you, but I don’t want to share. Some things should be kept… _ private _, if you know what I mean.”

Holy fuck, Peter had never heard Wade’s voice go that low. The man honestly sounded like he was melting chocolate and made of velvet and — holy fuck. He coughed and quickened his steps as he fled the lecture hall, barely glancing back at the two gaping students.

Bursting through the double set of door Peter walked as quickly as he could to the bus stop. He flicked the phone back to privacy mode and put it to his ear.

“Oh thank fuck, _ thank you _ !” He puffed, stumbling on loose gravel and almost taking a header. “You have the best fucking timing _ ever _.”

“What was that?” Gone was the smooth velvet and melted chocolate. Wade sounded like his usual chipper self. Maybe a tad more ‘murderously happy’ than usual, but it was Wade. For all Peter knew he was in the middle of disposing of several corpses.

Grimacing and dodging a car Peter fished his transit pass out of his pocket. “Some students of mine won’t take no for an answer. They keep cornering me and trying to get me to spend alone time with them.” Even saying it made Peter want to wash his mouth out. Ew, just, ew.

“Do you need help?” Always the worrier, Wade was.

“Technically, no, since you already did help. I don’t think they’re going to bother me for a while.” He hoped, at least.

“Peter...” And there was the overly chipper, doubting tone Wade reserved just for him.

Destination reached, Peter leant against a lamp post and waited. “Hey, don’t worry about it, DP. It’s nothing I can’t handle.” Which was true.

There was a beat as Wade debated pushing the issue, but he was as stubborn as Peter when it came for asking for help. He huffed and let the issue go, thankfully. “Did you just call me your cabbage?

Peter choked he was laughing so hard.

—

His theory of having a fake boyfriend being a deterrent to the Terror Twins was proven very very wrong when the two cornered him again the following week. Peter felt a moment of panic as they slid into the booth seat across from him and he almost bit his own finger instead of the burger in his hand. Mouth full of a drippy, avocado slathered burger he couldn't immediately shoo them away or pack his things and leave. This burger was supposed to be a victory meal, dammit.

Eventually he managed to swallow the mouthful and set the rest down.

“Uh, I'm actually —”

“You're like, totally not dating anyone.” Maryn actually looked bored as she spat out the accusation. Aryn looked less unbothered but he wasn't absent either, which meant he was still interested in whatever Maryn had planned. “No one has seen you out with any guys and you didn't bring anyone to the faculty dinner last week.”

How did she even know this?! It was very stalker-ish and Peter was feeling somehow more uncomfortable than even before. It bothered Peter too, that he hadn't expected this level of obsession. He didn’t particularly like conflict, even when he wore the suit, which made him increasingly squirmy and flushed in his seat. His stomach clenched and his toes curled around inside of his sneakers. The tiny hairs on his hands and feet felt primed to stick — which, totally not helpful right now! — but there was no wall-climb getaway for him this time. Having forgotten about the show playing on his laptop, Peter quickly paused it and minimized everything — just in case.

“Hey, I mean, the faculty meeting is bad enough without making someone else suffer through it with me. Actually, hey! Why would you even know? You aren’t staff!” Peter straightened and for a brief moment, debated reaching across the table and into Maryn’s space for the serviette dispenser. But the look on her face made him reconsider so he stuck with cleaning his messy fingers with him mouth instead and hastily wiping the last bit on his pants.

Peter really didn’t like the laser focus the two had on his mouth.

He coughed and wiped his lips on the back of his hand just in case.

“Just because _ we _ weren’t there didn’t mean that like, people we know weren’t invited.” Aryn shrugged and leant back into cracked vinyl seat. He crossed his arms tightly under his pectorals. The show would have been impressive except that Peter had seen not only Steve Rogers pull that pose, but also Thor and Wade. His bar for drooling at perfectly sculpted pecs and forearms was way out of Aryn’s reach.

“But who…” Peter scrunched his nose and thought for a moment. Who could either of them possibly know who would be at the faculty meeting? He was drawing a blank and that wasn’t good. Peter hadn’t taken either of them as a serious threat until now, but if they had enough influence to have someone relay back info to them then he had to be a lot more careful about what he did in his personal life.

But, really, did he really have anything to worry about? Aside from some nosy people potentially figuring out his secret identity — and no way could they have that many people at their beck and call.

Peter took his lower lip between his teeth and gently worried at it as he thought. His fingers tapped a rolling pattern out over the sticky table top.

“So how about you just give up this big lie and just give us a chance, huh? Or is it that you can’t choose?” Maryn giggled and slipped her hand up beneath Aryn’s elbow to pull him close. Her chest bulged as she pushed it into his arm. She popped her ever present gum and batted her eyelashes at him.

If Peter was being serious, these two were very attractive people who were interested in _ him. _ His younger self would sob at the audacity of it all because right then Peter had absolutely no interest. He really couldn’t appreciate more than the aesthetic of the pair, and even that was a bit of work because of how uncomfortable they made him feel. Like some kind of prey animal that they were playing with. It made the back of his neck prickle and his spider sense hum.

But this wasn’t a good time to set them straight, not fully. The semester wasn’t over and he had no idea how they would react if he just told them how he felt about _ them _. Though the brunet didn’t think it would go well.

He was taking too long to respond though, and the blondes were eyeing each other and him in turn. 

Aryn extended a hand, leaning in, and made to grab the wrist Peter had resting on the table — 

— When his laptop began chiming.

The three of them jumped and Aryn yelped. Maryn had dug her acrylic nails into the soft flesh of the big man’s forearm in surprise.

“Ah, oh, just, shit, hold on — “ Peter turned to his right where the laptop was against the condiment rack. There was an incoming Skype call jiggling on his screen. Saved by the.... Bell? Jingle? What even was that sound called?

Finally he managed to hit the answer button and a new window opened. Peter’s camera immediately began broadcasting and he could see himself, Aryn, and Maryn in the small window to the right.

“Wade?” Peter squinted to try and make out what video was broadcasting from Wade’s end but it was too pixelated to get more than a sense of desert colouration and some suspicious splotches of red.

“Baby cakes!” The camera wobbled and spun until it showed another view — this one as badly distorted as the first. There was a clear second of a white smile and the vague impression of an eye before the pixels swirled and shifted again into some impressionist nightmare.

“Wade! Where are you even? The signal is super crappy!” Peter grinned regardless. Leave it to Wade to call from an active war zone and — probably — from the middle of a firefight just to check in. The guy was certifiably crazy.

No, really. He’d had the assessment signed and framed. It hung over the fireplace in his and Peter’s apartment. The place was paid for by Wade, but since he was never home Peter had started permanently housesitting by living there full time. It was nice — there was hot water _ and _ heat!

Wade barked a laugh and called out something that was distorted before there were several _ pops _ in rapid succession. Yup, definitely in a firefight. Peter smiled and rolled his eyes. Leave it to wade.

The camera shifted around a bit and Peter could see people to either side of Wade dressed in desert camo and shouldering rifles. Or, he assumed they were rifles and not, say, brooms? Regardless, the signal wasn’t getting much better and it looked like the combat had just popped off.

“Wade, you sure this is a good time to call?”

Wade’s face made another appearance, this time with an exaggerated frown, before the sharp lines disappeared again.

“There’s never a bad time to call you, baby boy! Daddy’s just a little distracted is all.” There was another series of _ pops _, then the camera rose to peek over a dusty wall. There were some tall buildings and tattered cloth across a plaza like structure. It didn’t look like a rural area, probably a large town or small city. “I know I left you hangin’ for a few days, miss all this Canadian beef.”

A voice swore at Wade from nearby and the Canadian swore back. There were more _ pops _ before the background noise seemed to peter out.

“Wade?” While he was essentially immortal — Wade was determined to test this theory much to Peter’s horror — Wade could still be injured and felt pain vividly. Peter was always worried for his friend. He’d seen Wade be ‘bait’ enough time in their line of work that he couldn’t stand the idea of him getting killed just because it was convenient. “Hey, hey, Wade? _ Mon chou _?”

The pet name had stuck after that first time and it had become a competition to call each other the worst french names they could find.

There was a soft wheeze and a laugh before Wade answered, “Yeah baby I’m here. We Gucci.” Wade giggled a little, somehow knowing the unimpressed scrunch of Peter’s nose would be present. “All clear here. Kinda forgot to call earlier but you know, I think my timing wasn’t bad.”

A new voice hollered from off screen, “Your timing fucking sucks, Wilson!”

“Go fuck yourself, Bob!” Wade angled the camera so Peter could see him flipping off a guy to his right who had both middle fingers raised. The Canadian cackled and flipped the camera back to his own face. “But yeah, looks like my stay got extended. I’ll be back end of next month, maybe?”

“Next month? That… that really sucks Wade. Like, I get it’s your job and all but I thought you were gonna hit up that awards function with me. You promised to wear that tux I know you keep in the closet.” He actually _ had _ promised Peter he’d attend. It wasn’t like Peter had a lot of people he could invite to something like that. He couldn’t exactly go around inviting people like Mr. Stark or Dr. Banner, or Thor, or Steven or, huh, actually, he definitely wouldn’t ever invite Doctor Strange — that guy scared him a little — but like, it could have been cool. Wait. Shit. Focus. “ _ Wade _,” Peter whined.

“Don’t give me that, _ ma puce _, you know what the whine does to me.” The camera actually focused in on Wade’s face this time, though only the unmarred side and just his mouth. “I’ll do what I can but I didn’t want to leave you hanging on the night of.” He sounded truly apologetic.

Peter sighed and propped his chin up with one hand. “Guess it can’t be helped… But at least lemme know if you think you’ll be home before then; the apartment’s too big and empty without you.” Which it was, Wade had a way of filling a space.

A soft smile curled Wade’s mouth and unintentionally Peter’s curled to match. “Promise baby, I won’t leave you in the dark.” Wade glanced away and the screen once more became a flurry of pixels. “Gotta go, we’re Oscar Mike. Be good, be naughty, but be thinking of me when you do it.”

Wade hung up before Peter could respond. There was movement from the other side of the table and Peter suddenly remembered that he had company. He looked over to find Aryn and Maryn looking equally unimpressed. Aryn was drinking Peter’s pop while Maryn was twirling a curl around her finger and checking her phone.

“Umm…”

“So, like, do you have to bribe him to say all that? Is he an actor or something?” Maryn didn’t even look up from her phone.

“Yeah,” Aryn slid the pop back across the table, “that guy was _ definitely _ not in the military. Who even has a cell out there? Pft, total fake.” 

The two fist bumped without looking — which Peter admitted was fairly impressive. They weren’t stupid people; the Terror Twins were actually some of his highest scoring students. They were just oblivious sometimes… or intentionally uncaring he wasn’t sure. But Maryn was looking at Magna Kum Laude and Aryn was definitely Kum Laude. Which is probably what made their intense pursuit of him so uncomfortable. 

“Okay…” Peter looked down at his mess of a lunch and sighed. It was probably cold and gross now. “Look, I don’t have to explain it to you guys but I will. Wade’s a Canadian Armed Forces member. He’s like, special ops or something; mostly works for Canada but he does a lot of joint stuff with the American military and — “

“Yeah, sure, cool. But look, let’s be honest here,” Maryn locked her phone and stared straight at Peter, “even if he _ was _ your boyfriend — “

“Which he obviously isn’t,” Aryn added.

“Which he isn’t,” Maryn agreed, nodding, “you could do _ so _ much better than some guy who obviously made that whole story up. Like, if he’s actually overseas in a desert biome that means he would have to be in the Middle East, right? Or, at the very least, somewhere adjacent. And right now the only area with active combat is _ in _ the Middle East, so he wouldn’t be in Africa.” She rattled off facts about the currently known combat theatres outside of the US and, for a moment, Peter forgot about her aggressive flirting and stalking. She was just the student who was double majoring in biology and political science who pushed her professors to explain their theories and rhetoric, who stood up for the students in her classes who were too scared to argue back when a prof got too aggressive over late assignments and missed classes.

If she hadn’t spent the last year inserting herself — and Aryn — into his personal life. If she hadn’t taken to cornering him and playing dumb about obvious errors in her rough essays. If she had focused more on getting to know him as a person than as a challenge.

“Well, while the Middle East has been the hotbed of military action for the last decade it doesn’t mean this could couldn’t, theoretically, be in Africa. Have you ever seen Sudan, Chad, Niger, or Libya? I mean, they’ve all had military conflict in the last two years. Those just haven’t been big enough or profitable enough for the American military to really care about. They get maybe a day or two in the headlines and then suddenly everyone forgets about it.” Aryn was talking with his eyes closed, arms crossed, with one hand gesturing.

While Maryn was a mixed bag when it came to her majors, Aryn was focused on going into experimental biotechnology with a focus on hereditary genes and mutation. He looked and acted the part of a himbo but the guy was actually incredibly smart. In the last year Peter had even commented on his ability to make connections and pick up new concepts and how impressive his retention was. Aryn had flushed and admitted that his IQ was within the range of genius, but that he wasn’t too focused on it. He liked to learn. He taught swimming and coached sports in his off time, focusing on the poorer districts that couldn’t afford to hire a professional coach for their school teams. Aryn did it pro bono.

If the situation had been any different, Peter had no doubt that he would have been just as interested in either of them as they were in him. Though how they were interested in him was still a bit of a mystery.

Peter sighed and ran a hair through his hair. “Guys, look, seriously. I’ve known the guy for a few years. He really is military and he has the scars to prove it.” It was always easier to lie with a basis in truth.

Tugging his phone free of his pocket, Peter flicked open his photos and selected the favourites folder. He could have just shown them his background, but he figured the full photo would be better for this. The photo he was looking for was at the top of the folder and he opened it before turning the phone towards the two across from him and sliding it over.

They couldn’t resist the opening and both bent over the screen to get a better look.

The photo was of Wade, a mid torso shot up to the top of his head. He was facing the camera in his favourite bomber jacket, grinning that sly , sultry grin of his. The coat was open to just below his sternum to show off the swell of his pectorals beneath a tight white shirt. Peter knew that Wade’s left side was still mostly scar tissue from the constant battle between his cancer and mutation and portions of it curled out from beneath the collar of the jacket, up his neck, and around his cheek. A curl met the corner of his mouth before dipping back into the mass around his cheekbone before cutting a bloom across the same side of his forehead. His bright hazel eyes seemed to twinkle in the photo, a slight quirk to his right, scarred eyebrow.

It had been taken not long after he’d given the healing coffin thing at Stark tower a try. While the device had been powerful, it had only been able to partially heal Wade. Or, if you looked at it from Wade’s perspective, the fact that it had even been able to heal Wade at all was what was amazing. The merc had been able to grow back his _ hair _ after all. He had _ eyebrows _ now! Which he never failed to make use of in their chats.

This was the first time Wade had been proud of his looks in a very long time.

Peter may or may not have been squirming uncomfortably at the time, only then realizing how attracted he was to the Canadian.

Aryn and Maryn scrutinized the photo, zooming in and out, squinting at the details of Wade’s scars and the colour of his eyes. They were likely comparing what they’d seen on the skype call to the photo Peter was showing them.

There was a quiet _ tch _ from Aryn before he looked up, but whatever he had planned on saying died as he took in Peter’s stiff glare. He dared them to say _ anything _ about how Wade looked. They could harass him all they want but the minute they said anything about Wade’s scars all bets were off.

Aryn wisely changed his train of thought and wet his lips. “I mean, he’s hot, sure, but like, no way is he all that.”

Maryn caught on to Aryn’s quick diffusal and looked between them. “Mm, I mean, those are some pretty plush pillows but I’ve seen better.” She reached out and cupped one of Aryn’s.

‘_ Not even in the same competition lady,’ _ Peter thought. Aryn was nice to look at, but he had nothing on Wade’s thickness.

His phone beeped and Peter snatched it back. The message was from Dr. Banner, just an exasperated emoji that told him everything he needed to know. Spidey was getting called into work.

“See, uh, I mean,” He quickly packed up his stuff and awkwardly cleaned his half eaten lunch before struggling out of the bench seat and to his feet. “I uh, I mean, they’re nice, I guess?” He regretted it the words left his mouth, the two perking up immediately. “But um, Wade’s are literally the firmest I’ve ever had in my hands and ahshitigottago.” Peter gave up all pretense of subtlety and booked it. 

He could bury his dignity later — if he had any left.

———————————————

The rest of the month passed too quickly for Peter’s tastes and before he knew it the awards dinner was that night. One of his published papers was up for an award, so aside from attending as a Masters student he was also a nominated scientist. Which, cool, but holy shit were his nerves getting to him. And unfortunately, Peter didn’t even have a date to keep him distracted. Ned and MJ weren’t at the dinner, though Peter had offered them both the chance to come with. They’d muttered something about having literally anything better to do than wear uncomfortable gender conforming clothing — MJ — and be stuck in a room with the most boring scientists to ever shuffle across the room — Ned.

So there was Peter, dressed in a fitted black tux and shiny shoes, looking like someone’s lost child at the adult dinner table.

Damn his baby face.

Aryn and Maryn had somehow scored invites, probably through their other programs, and were huddled together off to one side. They kept looking from each other to Peter, gesturing not-so-subtly to each other and giggling madly. Peter tugged down the back of his jacket in an attempt to cover his ass — no luck — and went back to fiddling with his bowtie. He hated these things. The little star destroyers across the fabric didn’t even make him hate it any less.

Mr. Stark wandered by with Ms. Potts and a gaggle of followers right behind them. Ms. Potts waved and smiled at him to which Peter waved back. Though he guessed his smile was more of a grimace if her face was any indication. Mr. Stark winked and shot him some finger guns before continuing on.

Peter had seen Doctor Strange and Dr. Banner somewhere, but they’d quickly disappeared into the crowd upon arrival. If he’d been right, Thor had been the tall blond man to take Dr. Banner’s hand into the crook of his arm and guide him away.

The lack of a buffer made Peter feel at once uncomfortable and painfully alone.

He hadn’t had the opportunity to chat with Wade after the unplanned call during lunch. The guy hadn’t even replied to any of Peter’s texts. It was bad enough that he hadn’t been able to make it, but not being able to even distract himself with texting Wade made what should have been an awesome night super sucky.

The brunet sighed and checked his phone one more time before tucking it in his pocket. Maybe there was a coconut shrimp station he could camp out at. He liked coconut shrimp. Peter sighed again and stepped away from the edge of the open room just in time to hear his name being called out.

Peter sighed again, and ignored it. He really wasn’t in the mood to deal with Aryn and Maryn’s attempts to hit on him. It wasn’t funny anymore. It wasn’t even an acceptable norm. The next time they cornered him he’d finally tell them off. Yeah! He’d — 

“Baby cakes!”

The shout had Peter snapping his head around just in time for two large hands to close around his hips and launch him straight up into the air. Peter yelped and clutched his hands to his assaultant’s shoulders, sticky hairs activating. The face that was looking up at him was definitely not the one he had expected to see.

“_ Wade?!” _ Any other time Peter would have been horrified by the break ins his voice. But he was too busy staring stupidly at Wade’s grinning face. “What the fuck?!”

“Language!” Came from across the room and there was a booming laugh and several titters that followed. Yep, Steve and Thor were here.

“Hey baby cakes!” Wade pulled Peter in closer, lowering the smaller man enough that he could wrap his forearms under Peter’s ass to hold him up, keeping their bodies together. “See, I know I said I couldn’t make it — totally felt like a douche for that, by the way but things kinda happened and there was this cult thing and, you know what? Doesn’t matter. — but I was like, fuck those guys! So I may have just razed everything to the ground, unalived a lot of people dressed in weird clothes, and hitched a ride back here _ just _ in time for this shindig! It was a real kerfuffle, you know? This squatch was just chirpin’ me real hard like I was some kinda skid. Told that ten-ply to takitish cuz he ain’t got no chance of wheelin’ for me, already got a dime piece at home.”

Peter’s eyebrows had risen higher and higher until they met his hairline before descending back into a scrunched line. He stared at Wade, who wasn’t even remotely straining to hold him up, and waited for the large canuck to wind down.

“I have no idea what you just said.” Peter glanced around and, unsurprisingly, found a few people he knew from the linguistics department hastily typing away on their phones. “But uh, I’m super glad you made it!” He grinned and wiggled until Wade dropped him a little lower — still unwilling to put Peter down entirely. The brunet unstuck his hands and wrapped his arms around the other man’s neck. He squeezed gently and wasn’t at all surprised when Wade buried his nose in Peter’s neck and hummed, inhaling quietly.

They stood there for a few minutes before Peter pulled back, still hanging above the ground.

“I’m guessing you knew I had a new date and that’s why you came rushing back.” He winked but Wade’s eyebrows rose sharply and he looked around. “The uh, the two over to my right?” 

Wade checked and found Aryn and Maryn watching them. Their expressions were dubious, as though they didn’t quite believe what they were seeing. Peter put his mouth to Wade’s ear, catching the silent shiver that went through the big man. 

“They still don’t believe me, by the way.”

Wade grinned into Peter’s neck. “Maybe they aren’t as stupid as you thought. Ever think that they know it’s not the real deal?”

Peter hummed and wiggled until Wade set him down fully. There was nearly a head between them. “Let’s be honest, Wade.” Hoo boy, here it was. “If you weren’t obviously kidding the whole time I’ve known you, I would have said yes immediately.”

Wade’s grin slowly dropped from his face, leaving behind a very confused expression. His eyes flicked over Peter’s face and his mouth pursed into a frown. “What do you mean? When was I kidding?”

Things were suddenly awkward because of Peter’s big mouth and he coughed, looking down and away. “You know, whenever you uh, called be baby boy or, you know, when you made comments about like…” his face was burning and he had very nearly tucked his chin into his chest. “Like how much you want to bite my ass or um, see how flexible I am.” 

_ ‘Oh god, abort! Abort!’ _

“Petey.” 

Wade’s unscarred finger hooked under Peter’s chin and pulled his head up. The big man’s hazel eyes searched his face before finding what he was looking for. “Baby boy, none of that was jokes. I was completely serious, every time.”

….

…..

……

‘_ Oh shit. _’

“So, you…?”

“Uh yeah. The entire time. I was up for literally anything you were willing to give me. Still am.”

“...So, if I told you that I really really want to kiss you right now, you’d be up for it?” Holy shit this was real.

“Baby boy, I’d get on my knees for you right here right now if you so much as hinted you wanted my mouth.”

“Tch!! Wade!” Peter hastily covered Wade’s mouth with his hands only to have them grabbed in one massive paw.

Wade ducked forward and pressed his lips to Peter’s and left them there. They stayed like that for a moment, Peter too shocked to so much as move, before Wade pulled back slightly.

‘_ Nope, not a chance. _’

Peter broke free without any effort and cupped either side of Wade’s head to bring him back in for another closed-mouth kiss. Their lips slid together for another few moments, gradually getting slicker and warmer.

A loud cough had Peter jumping away from Wade’s arm lips and — massive hands on his ass. He gave the Canadian a _ look _ and Wade looked unapologetically smug.

“As happy as we all are that you finally figured things out, I think you should probably take this somewhere more private before Tony and Thor start taking bets on how far you’ll go.” Steve’s cheeks were bright pink and he had trouble looking either of them in the face.

Horrified, Peter wrenched out of Wade’s grip, grabbed the man by the wrist, and immediately started dragging him out of the room.

Wade cackled and waved, winking conspiratorially at Aryn and Maryn where they stood with flushed faces and dropped jaws.

Peter didn’t even care that he missed winning his award. He spent the rest of the night showing Wade just what he’d been missing out on.

fin.

————————————


End file.
